80

up to you.

the biggest step is to desire differently. you don’t like what’s happening but it keeps going like that? while it is not for you to change, it is up to you to change. first you change, whether it’s your mind or your behavior or your heart, and then you can see if anyone else is willing to come along. like a good experiment, the perfect place to test a variable is where you can hold all others constant.

now, you will have to admit that you were willing to compromise, that a part of you was going to be ok even if things were to remain as they were, less than ideal. go and talk to this part of you. you will find that one of your younger selves has a survival story, a rationale for the maladaptive coping mechanism that has now come up for review and retirement. we bring all parts of ourselves into the future with us after we have gently, firmly and compassionately made clear that we are safe enough to want more and safe enough to let go of settling for less.

you want life to feel better? it’s up to you to change. when a beautiful stranger comes along and opens your cell door, this is not a punishment. it’s your future self. they have come back to save you and bring you into the light. but they’ll not drag you out. you will have to expand your desire so that you can walk the path.