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template for love.

is there a template for love? yes. the template for love is friendship. ok but how do we know?

tell me, do you have to do anything for your friend to like you? no, you don’t. you and your friend trust one another to be who you are, unobscured by the masks, performing, pleasing and serving you tend to do with others. if you can’t trust yourself to be yourself, if you can’t trust your friend to like you for who you are, if you find yourself doing things to be liked, that’s not your friend. or, you are hiding from a friend who just wants to love you for who you are, and not what you can do for them.

how do you stay connected? friends grow together or they grow apart. but it’s not what you think; friendships don’t want enmeshment. it doesn’t happen by knitting two separate lives closer and closer together. if you remain stagnant while your friend evolves, you will not stay friends.

how do you keep your friend? expressing appreciation for this person should be the easiest thing you’ve ever done. you could love this friend with your eyes closed - in your sleep - zero effort. even if it’s hard to get together as often as you’d like, even if the distance in time zones and geography continue to grow, you love how special they are, you love that they exist in this world, you love that the universe brought them to you, and you love how the divine expresses itself in this friend. the effort is all in the logistics. it is easy to be kind, considerate, thoughtful and generous. they bring out your favorite version of yourself. if you don’t like who you are when you’re around them, if you don’t feel free, happy and loved enough to flow in their presence, if they cannot meet you where you are, they are not your friend.

either way, life will continue to reveal the unconscious relational and emotional patterns that are ready for review. triggers are meant to show us what we can’t see so that we can feel what must be healed and set ourselves free. triggers are meant for release. we let go what wants to leave and surrender to what the soul has aligned.