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pain is a window.

every time your heart breaks, a new you comes online. old you will be getting ready for sleep just as new you is waking up. it’s a tender, groggy time. the past comes in and out of focus as you heal, and you have to muddle through the day-to-day. it’s a time to be with yourself.

we remind ourselves that nobody ever hurt us from a place of strength. it’s always from a place of weakness. every point of pain inside you has a corresponding point in the other person. your pain is a window into their pain. it’s one way to learn how empathy works: how you feel is connected to how they feel, and this is a bridge you can cross with compassion for everyone involved, or you can burn it down and not look back.

this is how we know people. even if the ability to read and connect through unintentional admissions of pain is less than ideal, it’s how people unknowingly reveal their deepest secrets, telling us exactly where it hurts. we learn to decode their inner worlds as we feel however it was they made us feel.

this is why we have to be nice. we don’t want strangers knowing all our secrets or having pinpoint accuracy as to all our hurts and insecurities. we have to be good to others; intentionally if we cannot seem to do it unintentionally. if something hurts, go be with a friend. do not go around exposing your deepest vulnerabilities to people who can’t or shouldn’t have to hold it for you.